A few weeks ago, I woke up with a hymn stuck in my head. I hadn't heard it in a long time, but it has always been one of my favorites.
'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
and to take him at his word;
just to rest upon his promise,
and to know, "Thus saith the Lord."
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I've proved him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!
It spoke to me then as I was worried about having the baby at a time when Paul couldn't be there or couldn't take any time off work. I worried about what we would do with Kalten, I worried about the baby's safety, and I worried about giving birth. I was not at peace, not happy, and the first line stuck with me, about being so sweet to trust in Jesus. I wanted to rest on his promise. I was exhausted in every way possible. When I looked up the hymn and listened to it, it was so refreshing to remember that I'm not doing this alone. God has his plan and he knows what he's doing. I wasn't going to make anything change by worrying about it. Releasing that stress was like getting an extra night's sleep.
When Coen was born and we came home from the hospital and everything seemed to go wrong, I lost sight of the lesson I'd just learned. I took everything on myself, refused to ask for help, and because of that I killed my dear pet, I missed out on a lot of chances for joy and thankfulness, and I robbed others of the opportunity to be a blessing and be used by God. What a disaster!
Yesterday I got both boys to sleep, ran a bath, and decided I felt like listening to some music. I chose a cd that I haven't listened to in forever by a band called By the Tree. As I sat in the tub, I started to feel blah again, feeling sorry for myself and the way everything had happened, disappointed in the way I handled it, guilty for forgetting about Pip. All of a sudden, the song that was on switched, and the band started singing that familiar hymn. I didn't even know it was a part of that cd. The track title is called "Wait" and the hymn is in the middle of the song. What a neat reminder of God's faithfulness.
Go here to hear a simple version of the hymn.